just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Someone stole a lamp last night.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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