will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
