Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Vodka?
Forever.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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