The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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