honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
