Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize