Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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