Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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