There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
