NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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