I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
