I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
