i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
