I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
