I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
