I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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