Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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