I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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