the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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