Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
