I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Randomize
