i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I believe in your delicious
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
