Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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