What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
