Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
