i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
