On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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