Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
