I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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