Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
