He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
