I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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