i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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