Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just want to make out with him forever
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
