So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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