just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i think my cat just said my name.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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