watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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