You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
