Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
How external is "for external use only"?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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