I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
