Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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