I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
