God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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