Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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