and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
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