We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
