Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
