Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
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