How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
They have beer where we have blood.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
