i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
