Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
