Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
