I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
