We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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