Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
