She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
